Tofurky
by goodgollymolly
Summary: Kurt tries to cook a healthy Thanksgiving dinner for everyone, and they aren't really on board with the idea. A deleted scene from "The Most Important Man", but that doesn't have to be read to understand this. Oneshot.


A/N: This is sort of a "deleted scene" from "The Most Important Man". That doesn't have to be read to get this oneshot though! I hope you like it! I appreciate every piece of feedback I get from you guys, you are seriously amazing!

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><p>"Babe, that is honestly the worst thing I have ever smelled. Can we please just have the turkey that Carole bought?" Blaine pleaded.<p>

"Blaine, you know that my dad shouldn't have turkey right now, he just had a heart attack! We are going to have a healthy Thanksgiving if it kills us…er, rather that it doesn't kill us," Kurt retorted.

"But turkey is white meat! I'm sure a little white meat won't hurt your dad, now please, I'm begging you, throw out the tofurky and get the turkey out."

"Hey dudes," Finn said strolling in the kitchen, then looking around with a horrified look on his face, "what is that smell? I think I'm gonna be sick!"

"It's Thanksgiving dinner," Kurt snapped, "and honestly if none of you are going to respect my culinary prowess, maybe you should make dinner!"

"It would smell better than that," Finn muttered.

"I seriously doubt that, Finn," Blaine laughed, wrapping his arms around Kurt, "remember the time you tried to make toast for brinner when we cooked for Burt and Carole back in high school?"

"Dude, I thought we had sworn never to talk about that again!"

"He's just trying to buy himself brownie points," Kurt said, leaning back in Blaine's embrace.

"Is it working?" Blaine murmured into Kurt's ear as he kissed up his neck.

"Guys, um, I'm still here." Finn said, waving his hand, "You know, your totally hetero but extremely supportive stepbrother? The one who walked in while you were in the shower together yesterday and didn't even mention it to Burt when he got home yesterday?"

"Thank you, Finn," they both exasperatedly sighed at him.

"Now Blaine, get off of me! I need to keep cooking," Kurt said, detaching Blaine's hands from around his waist.

"Aww, I don't think I would do anything to mess dinner up," Blaine whined while attempting to wrap his arms around Kurt again.

"That'd be pretty hard." Finn muttered.

"Finn, I heard that, and Blaine, I swear, you must have some kind of attachment disorder or you're part koala," Kurt muttered as he pushed Blaine away, "now go play video games with Finn."

"Okay mom," Blaine said, sticking his tongue out and grabbing Finn's hand.

"Dude," Finn cried, shaking Blaine's hand away from his, "you are like the handsiest person ever!"

"You should try living with him," Kurt grumbled as they left the kitchen.

"You love me and you know it!" Blaine called as he and Finn climbed the stairs.

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><p>Two hours later, Kurt called everyone to dinner. Blaine and Finn eagerly bounded down the stairs, Burt and Carole following behind them. Burt gasped when he saw the table.<p>

"Where's the turkey?" Burt groaned when he saw the loaf of tofu. "I get released from the hospital, so I'm all excited that I actually get to have Thanksgiving dinner, only to come home to…that." He pointed at the tofurky. "I told you none of this after the first heart attack!"

"Well dad, you had a second heart attack, so I suggest that you man up and eat it," Kurt said, throwing his father an icy glare, "unless you don't want to make it until next Thanksgiving."

"Okay, okay, kid," Burt said sitting down, "I'll try it again, but I didn't like it last time. But is this what smelled this afternoon?"

Blaine and Finn both snorted as they started to heap mashed potatoes on to their plates. Finn stopped for a second before he shoveled any more onto his plate. "These aren't mashed potatoes," he said, examining them with his fork.

"Very good, Finn," Kurt said as he sat, "it's mashed cauliflower."

"Kurt," Burt groaned, "I appreciate this, I really do, but I would gladly take a triple bypass in exchange for some real food."

"Please tell me there's pumpkin pie," Blaine said, an edge of desperation in his voice, "it's not Thanksgiving without pumpkin pie!"

"There's pumpkin pie, I'm not that cruel," Kurt said as he started to cut the tofurky.

"Could have fooled me," Finn mumbled as he picked at his mashed cauliflower with his fork.

"Okay boys," Carole interrupted just as Kurt was about to snap at Finn, "why don't we go around the table and say what we're thankful for."

"Great idea, Carole," Kurt said, slamming the knife onto the table as he collapsed into his seat as he muttered, "ungrateful carnivores."

"Okay, I'll start, I'm thankful that I have all my boys at home," she smiled as she took Burt's hand, "especially the big one. Finn, you go next."

"Well, to start, I'm glad I haven't barfed from the cute in this house," he said eyeing both Carole and Burt and Kurt and Blaine, "but this food might do it."

"Finn," Carole warned.

"Fine, I'm thankful that we're all here safe and happy. Good?"

"Yes, thank you, Finn," Carole replied, "now Kurt, honey, it's your turn."

"Well, I'm thankful that dad got to come home from the hospital so that he could spend Thanksgiving with us, even if he doesn't enjoy the food. I'm also thankful that Blaine's here," Kurt kissed Blaine's cheek, and Blaine blushed, "and I'm thankful for you and Finn too, I didn't forget about you!"

"Blaine, dear, do you want to go?" Carole asked.

"Sure, well, I'm glad I have a nice, warm home to come to for major holidays," his eyes were shining, "you guys are amazing, thank you for welcoming me into your home, I know that sometimes I cause a little stress, but I really appre-"

"Blaine, honey, we get the idea," Carole laughed, "anything else to add?"

"I'm thankful that Burt is okay and is being the coolest dad ever for letting me stay in Kurt's room for the week and not making me sleep on the couch."

"Thank you Blaine," Carole chuckled, "and you've lived together in a one bedroom apartment for almost four years, I think we can assume that you at least sleep in the same bed."

"They do a lot more than that," Finn mumbled, then yelped as Kurt kicked him under the table.

"Okay, now Burt, it's your turn," she said, turning towards him.

"Well," Burt began, "I'm thankful to just be here, I guess. I have three wonderful boys here, a beautiful wife, and well, I'm glad you all put up with me. I love you all."

They all laughed as Burt finished. "We love you too, dear," Carole said as she kissed Burt's forehead, "now let's dig in! Because it's all healthy, it means we can eat twice as much, right Kurt?" She grinned and winked at him.

"Oh my God," Kurt groaned, rubbing his temples, "I live with savages."

Blaine threw an arm around his shoulder and brought pulled him close so that he could kiss the top of his head. "You had to know this would backfire," he murmured, "and at least we're loving savages."

"I had just hoped that no one would mention anything like that," Kurt sighed, "Finn's going to demolish the table."

"Hey, mashed cauliflower isn't so bad when you put lots of butter on it!" Finn said, mouth full of cauliflower, "I wonder if tofurky tastes good with butter too?"

"You use enough butter on anything and it's good," Burt laughed as he started to cut a pat of butter for himself.

"I don't think so," Kurt said, grabbing his arm, "no butter."

"But it's Thanksgiving!"

"And you had a heart attack six days ago. No butter."

"Fine." Burt huffed, then turned to Blaine and whispered, "Is he like this all the time?"

"You have no idea," Blaine whispered back, "have you ever tried vegan jerky? It's even worse than tofurky."

"I can hear everything you're saying," Kurt sing songed.

"We know," Blaine grinned, taking his hand, "but we're hoping that you realize what a sacrifice it is to make do with tofurky on the day the rest of America gets a feast."

"You'll thank me when you all live to be ninety!"


End file.
